Bill’s Content

All my favorite sports teams are doing well.

The [tag]Cubs[/tag] are 1 1/2 games ahead of the second-place brewers and four games ahead of the Redbirds.

The Woodruff High School Warriors, in their season opener, beat the East Peoria Raiders 55-0.

This may be a sign of a apocalypse.

Via MSNBC, You can for get about Sen. [tag]Sam Brownback[/tag] getting ANY votes from Wisconsin. The incredible dipsh*t actually told a bunch of them that Brett Favre isn’t the greatest quarterback EVAR.

“This is fundamental blocking and tackling,” he said. “This is your line in football. If you don’t have a line, how many passes can [tag]Peyton Manning[tag] complete? Greatest quarterback, maybe, in NFL history.”

Oops.

Realizing what he had said, Brownback slumped at the podium and put his head in his hands as the crowd expressed its displeasure.

“That’s really bad,” he said. “That will go down in history. I apologize.”

His apology brought a smattering of applause and laughter. He tried to recover, saying former Packer Bart Starr may be the greatest of all time, but the crowd was still restless.

“Let’s take Favre then,” Brownback said. “The Packers are great. I’m sorry. How many passes does he complete without a line?”

“All of them!” more than one person yelled from the back.

 Yeah, that’s Packs fans for you. Despite all evidence to the contrary, they think [tag]Brett Favre[/tag] is anything but the overrated, should-have-retired three years ago has-been that he really is. Sorta reminds me of the “Super Fans” segment on Saturday Night Live. The different is that Bears Fans realize it’s a joke. Packers fans think Favre really is Jesus Christ.

I am 43 years old. I’m at the age where I have to stop and do the math before I tell anyone exactly how old I am. I recently spend about a month thinking I was 44 because I didn’t stop and count.

That’s not old, really. And not that age gives one wisdom anyway, but it’s old enough for me to have noticed a few things. Not a lot, but a few.

I’ve seen people at the best — housewives who walk into a neighbor’s buring home to rescue kids, ordinary peoeple who work all year round to make sure every child has a toy on Christmas. I’ve seen people at their absolute worse, and the less said about these people, the better. Mostly I see people just getting by, doing the best they can.

I’ve seen and heard things that give me some important life lessons. I seen things that make no sense at all.

But there is just one universal truth. No matter what I see or hear, no matter what evidence is presented to the contrary, I know this is true. This includes the horrors that have been televised in recent weeks. I advise anyone I meet that in the name of whatever God they worship, that they cannot go wrong EVER by believing and acting as the following statement is a true:

“The Cardinals Suck. Always have. Always will.”

“Get a Brain, Morans,” indeed.

Note to Cardinals fans: The joke here is that it’s spelled M-O-R-O-N-S. Get it now?

[youtube]cTc1m93RMOs[/youtube]

I don’t intend to help anyone speak ill of a former Cub great, but I have a point to make. This guy makes a case that Bill Buckner’s miserable performance in the 1986 World Series makes him suspect that Buckner deliberately tanked the game:

Shoeless Joe Jackson gets the boot after a Series in which he proves himself to be the best player on the field, yet fans and media alike attribute the Red Sox’s 1986 collapse to Babe Ruth’s ghost without anybody giving it a second thought. Say it ain’t so. I’m not saying that I think the 1919 World Series wasn’t fixed, just that the 1986 World Series was fixed too …

Count me among those who think that Shoeless Joe got the shaft, but not as big a shaft as the screwing they gave Buck Weaver. But how does that equate into “he played poorly, so he MUST be cheating? It doesn’t. But that doesn’t stop this guy from trying:

[snip]

Consider this: Buckner went 0-for-5 in Game 6, stranding runners on base in every at-bat (the only player to do so in a postseason game until Hideki Matsui did it in 2005). And it wasn’t just one bad game, either. After batting .267 during the regular season in 1986 — even that was well below his career average of .289 — Buckner batted an abysmal .188 during the World Series with zero extra-base hits and just one RBI. This is all the more surprising when considering that he entered the postseason after an absolutely torrid September in which he batted .340. Perhaps most shocking about Buckner’s World Series performance is the fact that he struck out three times in his 32 at-bats. For most hitters, a 10.7 at-bats per strikeout (AB/K) ratio is phenomenal, but Buckner was one of the best contact hitters the game has ever seen. Over the nine-year span from 1979 to 1987, Buckner led the league in at-bats per strikeout four times (including 1986) and finished in second place four times. His 10.7 AB/K in the 1986 World Series seems odd only given the fact that his AB/K ratio was 25.1 during the regular season in 1986 and 20.7 over his career.

And he has a bad game or seven at the wrong time, and so some Red Sox fan goes on the Internet and accuses him of tanking the game deliberately.

This proves my theory: Red Sox fans are even bigger buttheads than Yankees fans. And that’s saying a lot.

[tags]Bill Buckner,1986 Word Series,Boston Red Sox,Shoeless Joe Jackson,Buck Weaver[/tags]

[youtube]d1h71vEQtCM[/youtube]

Gee, you would almost think Green was still a member of the Minnesota Vikings the way he whined and pouted after the Chicago Bears handed his Arizona Cardinals their ass on Sunday.

He’s upset that the Bears didn’t score a single touchdown on offense. I seem to recall another Bears team better known for its defense than it’s offense, and those guys won the Super Bowl.

[tags]Dennis Green,Cardinals,Bears[/tags]

Despite consistent appearances in the playoffs, petulant Yankees fans are demanding someone’s head:

When Brian Cashman, the Yankee general manager, was asked yesterday if Torre and A-Rod will be back, outside a Yankee clubhouse as quiet as Yankee Stadium will be today and all through the baseball winter, quiet as an empty locker, he said, “Why wouldn’t they?”

Cashman has a lot of power now. He won’t make the call on who will manage the Yankees next season. The owner will. If the owner has seen enough since the Yankees beat the Mets to win the 2000 Series, no one can fault him. It has been a long time, more than a decade, since he fired a manager. If he isn’t allowed to do it now, then when?

Go read the whole article. I laughed my ass off.

[tags]Yankees,Yankees suck,Joe Torre[/tags]

It’s the sound of the World’s Most Obnoxious Yankees Fan (T.W.M.O.Y.F. ) reliving the horror:

The Tigers’ chances seemed slim just a few days ago when they were swept at home on the final weekend of the regular season by the last-place Royals, who denied them a division title. Detroit had to settle for a wild-card berth and a first-round matchup with the Yankees.

It seemed lopsided. It sure was. The Yankees didn’t have a chance.

These man-eating Tigers simply devoured New York, outplaying the Yanks in every phase to advance to their first AL championship series since 1987. On Tuesday, the Tigers will play at Oakland in Game 1 of the AL championship series, the first postseason meeting between the clubs since 1972.

“Nobody gave us a shot in this series,” Bonderman said. “That motivated us.”

The Yankees never found any spark, and for the second straight year the star-studded squad is going home after a first-round exit.

I though seriously about not rubbing it in. I thought about taking the high road. But then I remember T.W.M.O.Y.F. being completely rude and insulting 100 percent of the time when the subject of my beloved Cubbies was brought up.

So, I now say this: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Yankees suck!

*ahem*

One final thought: I am going to spend the rest of the winter is a state of hopefullness and absolute certainty that things can ONLY get better. You, on the other hand, will spend your winter moaning, groaning, whining and generally sputtering in outrage that the Yankees didn’t deliver something you Yankees fans unreasonably consider your birthright: A World Series appearance.

It’s not your birthright. Your team just happens to be owned by a millionaire who’s willing to go out and buy whatever mercenaries he needs, and then fire anybody who doesn’t give him what he wants.

My team brings me joy. Your team brings you misery.

Case closed.

[tags]Chicago Cubs,New York Yankees,baseball,playoffs[/tags]

Enough with the bood-related posts. Woodruff High School with face Peoria High School at 7 p.m. Friday at Peoria Stadium. I’m really lookjing forward to it, as I’m certain WHS (5-1) will deciminate the hapless Central Lions (1-5).

I’m trying to convince the Walker Clan — Rob and Angie — to meet up with me at the stadium. They are Central grads, I believe, and I want to gloat after the inevitible Woodruff victory.

[tags]Woodruff High School,football,Warriors[/tags]

Quincy Notre Dame beat Woodruff High School by 51-48 in two OTs last night.

I’m disappointed, but not heartbroken. QND is one of the toughest programs in the state. The Warriors managed 20 points in five minutes to send the game into overtime. This is nothing to be ashamed about.

“We played our butts off against one of the best teams in the state, and you know what that means?” Woodruff coach Tim Thornton said to his team after the game. “That means we’re one of the best in the state.

“We will learn more from this than we would have any win.”

Woodruff is playing Peoria Notre Dame next week. It’s homecoming. It’s my 25th high school reunion. I’ll be there.

[tags]Woodruff,football,warriors,Peoria[/tags]

Congratulations to the Woodruff High School varsity football team on its undefeated season, haven defeated East Peoria, 50-14. Woo Hoo! Keep up the good work. Tell me, do these two schools still exchange the Silver Horseshoe Award every year?

Woodruff High School,football,high school football